On being here, now
Candice wrote again. For those of you not familiar with the lovely gal, she and I dated from ‘04 to ‘06. We’d probably still be dating if she hadn’t moved to France, as she tends to be a bit of a collector when it comes to relationships. She actually convinced one of her boys here to move to France with her, and she occasionally writes me scented letters trumpting the virtues of La France and how fantastic life would be for me if I were to move there. I always write back and tell her how happy I am at Kanawi and how I don’t want to go anywhere else, no matter how greener the local grass is there.
It would get irritating after awhile, I suspect, if it didn’t provide me a good way to reflect on my life and be sure that I’m still happy with the way it is going. Kanawi doesn’t need me like it used to, and I suspect that it could be fine without me. I’m not in any “official relationships” right now, which sometimes makes me feel a little lonely even in the midst of all these people, and it really would be nice to see Candice again. We went really well together. Really, really well. I think it was more her doing than mine. If you’re going to be a collector, you need to be good at keeping people around.
But I’d miss Kanawi more than I miss her. The place. The people. The trees. The pond. The events. Even when I’m fighting with people, I still think I’d miss them if I were to leave.
I miss you, Candice, but I know that here is where I’m supposed to be.
December 15th, 2008 at 10:29 pm
Candice was awesome. Perhaps you could persuade her to come back to Kanawi for a visit?
December 16th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
Perhaps Kanawi doesn’t need you as it did in the beginning, but you still have loved ones here that would also miss you. Kanawi wouldn’t be the same without you! However, I also think it is valuable that Candice’s letters provide you with a way to check in on your situation, and I suspect that your feelings will continue to evolve, and maybe one day the letter will prompt a different response. Home is not just a place for me, but a feeling, a state of being, and is more about the people than the surroundings. I really identify with the saying, “Home is where the heart is.”
December 17th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
Hannah: Not sure if I could get her to come back even for a visit. She *really* likes La France
Perhaps if she needs a vacation from awesome 
Belle: Thank you!